How to Master Writing Cold Emails (Part 2) – Writing the Message

Now that you’ve laid the groundwork (see Part 1), it’s time to translate all that prep into a message that people actually read and respond to. In this post, we’ll explore how to write good subject lines, craft opening lines that feel personal, structure the body of your email for maximum clarity, polish your signature so you look credible, and fine-tune your tone and formatting to respect busy inboxes.

Subject Lines That Get Opened

Your subject line is your first (and sometimes only) chance to persuade someone to click. Think of it as a headline: it needs to be clear, concise, and intriguing, but never gimmicky. Aim for no more than six to eight words, and include a hook that ties directly to your recipient’s work or achievements. For example, referencing a recent talk or paper title shows you’ve paid attention. If you share a mutual connection—say, an alum from your school—that can go front and center to lend authority. The trick is balancing personalization (e.g., “Your talk on October 10”) with a hint of benefit (e.g., “Quick question from a rising researcher”) so the recipient instantly knows this isn’t a mass or spam email.

Quick Tip: Avoid misleading or “clickbait” language. If your subject overpromises and your email underdelivers, you’ll damage credibility before you even begin.

Crafting an Engaging Opening

Once your subject line has done its job, the opening sentence must reinforce that personal touch. Skip generic intros like “My name is...” or broad compliments that could apply to anyone. Instead, open with a single concrete detail: perhaps you noticed a novel method in their Figure 3, or you enjoyed a specific point they made during a talk. Phrasing it as a question invites them into a dialogue rather than simply flagging you as another student. This small tweak transforms your message from a monologue into a two-way conversation.

Structuring Your Email Body

A well-structured body feels effortless to read. Aim for three short paragraphs, each with a distinct purpose:

1. Connection & Context: In one or two sentences, demonstrate you’ve done your homework. Mention the specific work that inspired you and why it resonates with your own interests or project.

2. Clear Ask: State your request plainly. Whether you’re seeking feedback, a brief call, or collaboration, spell out exactly what you want and include any time constraints (e.g., “15 minutes next week”).

3. Why You’re the Right Person: Briefly remind them of your relevant background—your recent project or skill—and explain how your expertise can uniquely help. End with a concrete next step suggestion, such as offering a couple of dates or asking how they prefer to communicate.

   
   

Resist the urge to cram too much information into one email. If you find yourself writing more than three paragraphs, you may be writing too much.

Quick Tip: White space is your friend. Short paragraphs and occasional line breaks make scanning easy and help your reader pick up the key points at a glance.

Polishing Your Signature

Your signature is more than just your name at the bottom. It’s actually the final impression you leave. When writing it, you should include:

• Your full name and current role or affiliation (e.g., “Jophy Lin, Rising Senior, Manalapan High School”)

• A direct email address and one reliable link to your portfolio or résumé (hosted on Google Drive or your personal site)

  
  

Keep it to three to five lines. Overly long signatures or embedded images can trigger spam filters or look cluttered.

Tone, Style, and Formatting

Treat your cold email like a mini-report: professional but approachable. Keep your word count under 300 words to respect your reader’s time. Write in the active voice, choose simple vocabulary over jargon, and read your draft aloud to catch any stilted phrasing. As for bullet points, reserve them for listing two or three quick items, rather than prose.

Key Takeaways

By now, you should be able to choose a subject line that clearly signals why you’re writing and instantly resonates with your recipient’s work or achievements. You know how to open with a personal detail that shows genuine interest rather than a generic greeting. You can structure your message in three concise paragraphs—connection, ask, and why you—so that every sentence drives your request forward without overwhelming your reader. Your email signature will leave a polished final impression, and you understand how to use plain text, short paragraphs, and occasional bullet points to maintain maximum readability.

Wrap-Up & What’s Next

Now, you're ready to write cold emails that get opened and read. In Part 3, we’ll go beyond simply following up. You’ll learn:

• When and how to send polite reminders without coming across as pushy

• How to track every response in a simple system so nothing falls through the cracks

• Exactly what to do when they reply positively, including setting up interviews, preparing for lab visits, and negotiating internship details

• Best practices for post-interview follow-through, like thank-you notes and next-step check-ins

  
  

By the end of Part 3, you’ll have a complete playbook—from initial outreach to securing and succeeding in the opportunity you asked for. Stay tuned!

About the Author: I'm Jophy Lin, a high school junior and researcher. I blog about a variety of topics, such as STEM research, competitions, shows, and my experiences in the scientific community. If you’re interested in research tips, competition insights, drama reviews, personal reflections on STEM opportunities, and other related topics, subscribe to my newsletter to stay updated!